Good Manners In Islam

2- Repel evil with Good:

Allah Almighty in the Noble Quran commands us to return the evil that is done to us by others to not only with good, but with best!

The following Noble Verses and comments were sent to me by a Muslim brother; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him:

Let us look at Noble Verse 13:22 "Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their Lord; establish regular prayers; spend out of (the gifts) We have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly; and turn off evil with good: for such there is the final attainment of the (Eternal) Home."

Let us look at Noble Verse 23:96 "Repel evil with that which is best: We are Well-acquainted with the things they say."

Let us look at Noble Verse 41:34 "Nor can goodness and evil be equal. Repel (evil) with that is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!."

Let us look at Noble Verse 28:54 "Twice will they be given their reward, for that they have persevered, that they avert evil with good, and that they spend (in charity) out of what We have given them."

Let us look at Noble Verse 42:40 "The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) Loveth not those who do wrong."

Whether people speak evil of you, in your presence or behind your back, or they do evil to you in either of those ways, all is known to Allah Almighty. It is not for you to punish. Your best course is not to do evil in your turn, but to do what will best repel the evil. Two evils do not make a good.

You do not return good for evil, for there is no equality or comparison between the two. You repel or destroy evil with something which is far better, just as an antidote is better than poison. You foil hatred with love. You repel ignorance with knowledge, folly and wickedness with the friendly message of Revelation. The man who was in bondage of sin, you not only liberate from sin, but make him your greatest friend and helper in the cause of Allah Almighty!. Such is the alchemy of the Word of Allah Almighty!. Your credit for returning evil with good and paying for charity is double. Also if you forgive and return the evil with good, then Allah Almighty will love you and reward you.

Good Manners In Islam

1- Good manners and good character:

Islam is a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and harmony. If this wonderful religion is followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example to follow.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: "The Prophet never used bad language neither a 'Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say 'The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)"

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: "The Prophet never used bad language neither a "Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say "The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character." (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)"

Narrated Masruq: "Abdullah bin 'Amr mentioned Allah's Apostle saying that he was neither a Fahish nor a Mutafahish. Abdullah bin 'Amr added, Allah's Apostle said, 'The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 56)"

Narrated Masruq: "We were sitting with 'Abdullah bin 'Amr who was narrating to us (Hadith): He said, "Allah's Apostle was neither a Fahish nor a Mutafahhish, and he used to say, 'The best among you are the best in character (having good manners)."' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 61)"




Most of the following writings were mostly taken from the Noble Quran which was translated by Sheikh (Minister) Abdullah Yusuf Ali; may Allah Almighty rest his soul.

Funeral In Islam

Allah (S.W.T) says in the Quran:

Ar-Rahman 26
"All that is on earth will perish"

(55:26).

So glory to the living God who will never perish. Death will enter every house, because death is an inevitable fact. Thus each Muslim who believes in Allah and the last day has to prepare for the day of departure and to meet his end. For indeed this worldly life is nothing but a transit station leading to eternity, either to the everlasting pleasure of Allah, to eternal life in Paradise or to the scorching Hell fire. O Allah, we don't ask you to reverse the decree but to shower us with your gentleness in passing it. O Allah! If you keep us alive, keep us with faith, and if you cause us to die, make us die in Islam.

We deal with this topic, death, although it is both painful and fearful, but it is true and we have to believe in it as the truth; this is part of our deep faith in Allah the Almighty and so we have to be ready to leave on a day when eyesights will be dazzled due to terror, a day when neither wealth nor children will avail anyone, except those who go to Allah (S.W.T) with a sound heart.

Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. clarified to us that one of the rights of every Muslim, which is also a duty of all Muslims, is to follow funerals. Let us start from the moment when death approaches a person whose soul is about to leave his body. It is the duty of attending Muslims to encourage the dying one to say La ilaha illa Allah, as our beloved Messenger p.b.u.h. teaches us in the following tradition: On the authority of Abu Said al Khudry may Allah be pleased with him, who said: the Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h. said: teach your dying ones La ilaha illa Allah. Reported by Muslim.

"La ilaha illa Allah", Glory be to the Most High. This statement leads to Paradise as it is the slogan of Islam; upon it we live and upon it we die, and with it we meet Allah, Lord of the Worlds. This is why Muath ibn Jabal may Allah (S.W.T) be pleased with him said: The Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h. said: He whose last words are La ilaha illa Allah will enter Paradise.

Dear Muslims:

If you attend a dying Muslim who is one of your relatives or friends then say only what is good and appeal to Allah to support you in your misfortune and to compensate you with what is better, because angels confirm what you say with amen meaning Oh Allah please accept. All of us will return to Allah one day. So the dying ones are only our predecessors and we shall follow them.

The Prophet p.b.u.h guides us to receive the occasion of death with good faith and to say the best words. This is clear in the following tradition reported by Ummu Salamah R.A.A. who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h saying: Every slave (of Allah) who suffers from a misfortune and says we belong to Allah, and unto Him we shall return. Oh Allah! Reward me in my misfortune and compensate me with what is better than it, Allah will surely reward and protect him and will grant him better than it. So, when Abu Salamah died I said what the Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h commanded me to say, and thus Allah compensated me with one better than him i.e. The Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h.

As for him who loses a dear one and thanks Allah (S.W.T) and says, "We belong to Allah, and unto Him we will return" and seeks the reward of Allah (S.W.T) and asks Allah (S.W.T) to grant him patience and firmness then Allah (S.W.T) will grant him Paradise as a reward for his patience. Abu Musa R.A.A., confirms this. Reporting the Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h who said: When the son or daughter of a slave of God dies Allah says to His angels: You have taken the life of my slave's child. They will say: yes. He will say: You have restored the fruit of his heart, they will say: Yes. He will ask: what did my slave say? They will say: He praised you and said, "Unto Allah we belong, and unto Him we will return". Then Allah (S.W.T) will say: Establish for my slave a house in Paradise and call it the house of praise. Reported by Al-Tirmithy.

As for performing the funeral prayer on the dead Muslim and escorting him to his grave, all this becomes a bound duty on other Muslims; for here is an abundant reward from Allah (S.W.T). This is clear from the tradition reported by Abu Hurairah RAA who quoted the Prophet p.b.u.h who said: whoever witnesses a funeral until the prayer is performed for it, he will have a carat worth of reward, and he who witnesses it until it is buried will have the equivalent of two carats. When he was asked about the carats the Prophet p.b.u.h said: like the two great mountains Agreed upon.

In another similar tradition, also reported by Abu Hurairah, the Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h. said: whoever follows a funeral of a Muslim in good faith seeking God's reward and stays with it until it is prayed upon and is buried, will return with a reward of two carats, each carat is equal to the mount of Uhud, and he who prays upon it and returns before it is buried will return with one carat. Reported by Al Bukhari.

As for the method of the funeral prayer it is recommended to perform it by a large number of righteous worshippers who do not associate anything with Allah (S.W.T), so that they may intercede for their deceased brother or sister or son, thus Allah (S.W.T) would accept it from them and grant their intercession. This is confirmed by the following tradition of the Messenger of Allah who said: If any Muslim dies and forty men who associate nothing with Allah stand over his prayer (they offer prayer over him), Allah will accept them as intercessors for him. Reported by Sahih Muslim.

The funeral prayer has a number of conditions and pillars, which should be applied and never neglected or abandoned. For many among us do not know how to perform funeral prayer, which we shall briefly mention in the following:

1. Everyone performing it should have ablution like any other prayer.

2. It is a congregational prayer without any bowing or prostration.

Every one should say four times Allahu Akbar after the imam. After the first one he should recite the Opening chapter of the Quran. After the second "Takbir" he should recite the second half of Ibrahim's prayer (always said toward the end of each prayer).

After the third Takbir he should pray for the dead one as well as Muslims the following supplication or what is similar to it. This is reported from the Prophet p.b.u.h. quoted by Abu Abdirahman ibn 'Awf ibn Malek R.A.A. who said: The Messenger of Allah p.b.u.h. prayed on a funeral and I memorized from his supplication the following: O Allah. Forgive him and have mercy on him. Relieve him of all evils and pardon him, honor his status, and expand his entrance, wash him with water, ice, and hail, and purify him of sins as You purify a white garment of filth. Grant him an abode better than his abode, a family better than his family, a spouse better than his spouse, and let him enter Paradise and protect him from the torment of the grave and the punishment of Hell. "Hearing this. I wished I had been that dead person", said the narrator. Reported by Muslim.

The worshipper then makes the forth Takbir and prays for all Muslims. One of the best supplications is the following: O Allah. Don't deprive us of his reward, don't exercise any trial on us after him, and forgive us and him. There are many traditions in this context but it is recommended to make a lengthy prayer for the dead one seeking God's forgiveness for him as well as for all dead and alive Muslims.

Istikharah

Istikharah is only prescribed for matters regarded as permissible by the Shari`ah and not for any issue that plainly opposes Allah's Laws. It is when you have two permissible options and you do not know which is better for you that you should resort to Allah the Almighty to seek His guidance.

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Performing Istikahrah means praying to Allah SWT to guide us to whatever He sees fit for us and make for us to be satisfied with the decision.

Istikharah prayer is a two-rak`ah non-obligatory Prayer by which one seeks Allah's guidance when he is confused or can't choose between permissible alternatives.

We ask Allah to facilitate the matter if it is good and turn it away if it is not. Thus, after praying Istikharah, we should decide on a course of action, and trust that if the matter does not work out, it is because it was not good for us.

Istikharah is only prescribed for matters regarded as permissible by the Shari`ah and not for any issue that plainly opposes Allah's Laws. It is when you have two permissible options and you do not know which is better for you that you should resort to Allah the Almighty to seek His guidance.

It also means seeking the best course of action. In Islam, it is used for approaching Allah through Prayer for guidance in a case when we cannot make up our mind on something.

When faced with important decisions in life, a believer is persuaded to use all of his Allah-given resources, as well as to consult people who are known for their knowledge, piety and sound opinion. After having done so, he can turn to Allah for guidance.

Humans are limited in knowledge, and Allah alone possesses perfect knowledge. Allah has told us that He alone possesses the keys to all that is good. He has also promised to help us if we turn to Him earnestly and sincerely.

There are many instances across the centuries when we see people resorted to doing things for confirmation in making important decisions. During Jahiliyyah, the Arabs practice divining with arrows or the stirring of birds. Even in modern times, we do see such practices are held but slightly of a different sort. Modern people seek prominent figure like astrologers, psychics, gurus or so called spiritual masters. Islam teaches that since Allah alone knows the unseen realities, and He alone is aware of what is good for us in an absolute sense, we must seek His help.

If we are faced with decisions in life and are unable to make up our mind, we must approach Allah through Prayer.

Istikharah is a Sunnah or a highly recommended act. After performing it, we should follow the decision that we strongly inclined to. If we feel no such inclination, then we should choose one of the options; we can rest assured that Allah will guide our steps. It has been reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "One who asks Allah for guidance in choosing the best course of action will never be a loser."

It is not at all necessary for a person to have visions or dreams following Istikharah. The interpretation of dreams is a special knowledge that some people have. In the Qur'an many dreams are mentioned. Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) saw in his dream that he was sacrificing his son. Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him) had dreams and Allah also gave him the knowledge of interpreting dreams. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also sometimes interpreted the dreams of his Companions.”

Imam An-Nawawi (may Allah bless his soul) said:

“After making Istikharah, a person must do what he or she is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and should not insist on doing what he had desired to do before making the Istikharah. And if his or her feelings change, he or she should leave what he or she had intended to do, for otherwise he or she is not leaving the choice to Allah, and would not be honest in seeking help from Allah's power and knowledge. Sincerity in seeking Allah's choice means that one should completely abandon what one desired oneself.”

We may do whatever is best in our understanding or whatever convinces us. We may repeat the du`a' of Istikharah several times if we are still hesitant. It is not necessary to dream about anything and we do not have to wait for an answer in your dreams.

Perfect Happiness: Now and Forever

Perfect Happiness

According to Islam (Submission)
Absolutely, God's allies will have nothing to fear,
nor will they grieve.
They are those who believe and lead a righteous life.
For them happiness in this life, and in the Hereafter.
Such is God's inviolable law.
This is the true triumph [10:62-64]

Perfect Happiness: Now and Forever

One of the most elusive objectives of every human being is "Happiness." The Quran reveals the secret of attaining perfect happiness in this life and forever. We learn from the Quran that happiness is an exclusive quality of the soul. Thus, a body that attains all the material successes it longs for - money, power, fame, etc. - often belongs to an unhappy person. Happiness depends totally on the degree of growth and development attained by the soul, the real person. The Quran provides a detailed map towards perfect happiness for both body and soul, both in this world and in the eternal Hereafter.

In the numerous verses throughout this proven Testament, God personally guarantees the believers' happiness, now and forever (10:62-64)

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ROAD TO HAPPINESS
Seek to Please God

As believers in God alone, our priority in this life should be to fulfill God's expectation of us. We should live a life that will please God. What pleases God is not our utterances, but our actual intentions or actions to carry out His commandments. When pleasing God becomes the most important aspect of one's life, God will make every thing wonderful for him or her:
God promises those among you who believe and lead righteous life, that He will make them sovereigns on earth, as He did for those before them, and will establish for them the religion He has chosen for them, and will substitute peace and security for them in place of fear. All this because they worship Me alone, without setting up any idols besides Me. Those who disbelieve after this are the truly wicked" (24:55).


If you want to become a "king" or a "queen" on earth, then, you have to examine yourself sincerely at every opportunity. Anytime you have a problem in any aspect of your life -money, health, relationships, any problem-you must search for the lesson. As soon as you understand the lesson, everything will be all right. The problem will simply go away, and, more importantly, God will make it up to you. All bad effects of the past will be wiped out.


If you are sincere, God will perfect your relationship with Him, by putting you through tests, based on your weaknesses (3:14,8:28). For example, if you hold anything to be more important than God, He might take it away from you, in order to test you. Therefore, one must ask himself, "What is the most important thing in my life?" If your job is the most important thing, it may be taken away. If your children are the most important aspect of your life, they may be taken away.

God: Number one priority

The number one priority in everyone's life should be to please God. No one or nothing else should take priority before God. What is the number one priority in your life? Is it pleasing God, or your boss? Is it doing your five daily prayers to please God, or pleasing your friends who may not understand why you bow and prostrate? Is it going to the Friday prayer or taking care of your business? Is it to be with the believers in Quranic study or fulfilling your own desires by seeking recreation on Friday nights? What is it? You have to examine yourself carefully, and you must correct the situation immediately. If you put pleasing your friends ahead of pleasing God, God will embarrass you in front of those friends. However, if you put pleasing God ahead of pleasing your friends, God will shower you with dignity and respect in front of those friends. He will make them, force them, to respect you, and even love you. God controls the minds and hearts of all the people. God is the one who makes them love you, or hate you, or respect you.


Do you act differently with the believers than you normally act? Do you speak up and give your opinion to other believers because you honestly want to share your thoughts and understanding with them, or do you simply want them to be impressed by your knowledge? If the reason you speak out is to be respected by the believers, God will take away that respect. Whereas, if you speak out from an honest and sincere desire to express Quran and learn with those around you, God will shower you with admiration from the believers.


Once you make pleasing God the most important thing in your life, you will possess the most valuable thing one can ask for - God's support. But, if you make anything more important than pleasing God, you will be tested over and over. If you do not realize that fact after all the tests, you will lose both in this world and in the Hereafter.

Polygamy In Islam

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. It can be divided into two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted, whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.


Polygamy, once, was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. By the time it was revealed, the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy. Polygamy is permitted in the Quran but under strictly observed circumstances and any abuse if this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Allah S.W.T said in His Holy Book:
"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one…" (An-Nisa’:3)


From this verse a number of facts are evident:1) That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merely permitted, 2) That the permission to practice polygamy is not associated with mere satisfaction of. Rather, it is associated with compassion towards widows and orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which the verse was revealed. 3) That even in such a situation, the permission is far more restricted than the normal practice which existed among the Arabs and other peoples at that time when many married as many as ten or more wives. 4) That dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation. This applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment…etc., for which the husband is fully responsible.


This verse, when combined with another verse in the same chapter, shows some discouragement of such plural marriages. The other verse plainly states: "You are never able to be fair and just between women even if it is your ardent desire…" (An-Nisa’:129)


The requirement of justice rules out the fantasy that man can "own as many as he pleases." It also rules out the concept of a "secondary wife", for all wives have exactly the same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over their husband. It also implies, according to the Islamic Law, that should the husband fail to provide enough support for any of his wives, she can go to court and ask for a divorce.


Those above Quranic verses clearly shown the remainder made by Allah for those who had the intention of having more than one wife. These Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing Allah’s law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that Allah’s law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy.


There are several conditions should be met before a Muslim male could marry other females. Those conditions are financial ability, physical and emotional ability, equal treatment of the wives, the approval from the prospective female to this kind of marriage, the wives are among those who are not prohibited for him to marry either it permanently or temporary and last the number of wives is limited to up to four in one time. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).
The western society at large had misunderstood the real meaning and purposes of polygamy in Islam. Polygamy in their eyes is only having a large number of glamorous young girls (harem) for the purpose to serve and please the man. It was a misunderstood conception.


Islam permitted polygamy due to its divine purposes. World female population is more than male population. The average life span of females is more than that of males. The obvious example of this occurs in times of war, when there are inevitably a large number of widows and orphans left without companionship, love, money and protection.


If it is still maintained under these circumstances that a man may marry only one wife, other females will be deprived from having a family that includes a husband, a companion for life, children and a father for the children. Thus, polygamy protects the interest of women and children in society. It also helps to prevent the spread of diseases like Herpes and AIDS that occur due to the extra-marital affairs.


The compromise therefore is for women under these circumstances to face that if given the alternative many of them would rather share a husband than have none at all. And there is no doubt that it is easier to share a husband when it is an established and publicly recognized practice than when it is carried on secretly along with attempts to deceive the first wife.


Therefore, polygyny in Islam is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than a wife. It cannot be said that if a Muslim has two, three or four wives is considered as a better Muslim than those who had only one. It is permissible but not an obligation.

Divorce In Islam

Moreover the procedure of divorce in Islam is such as to encourage reconciliation where possible. After divorce the woman should wait three monthly cycles during which her husband remains responsible for her welfare and maintenance. He is not permitted to drive her out of the house during this period. She has been advised not to leave the house of the divorcing husband, in order to enhance the chances of reconciliation, as well as to protect her right of sustenance during the three months waiting period. The main purpose of this waiting period is to clarify whether the divorced wife is or is not expecting a child. Its second use is as a cooling-off period during which the relatives and other members of the family or of the community may try to help towards a reconciliation and better understanding between the partners. The Qur'an says:
"And if you fear a breach between the two, then appoint judge from his people and a judge from her people; if they both desire agreement, Allah will effect harmony between them, surely Allah is Knowing, Aware." (4:35).
If they are reconciled they may resume the marriage relations at any time within the waiting period, whereupon the divorce is automatically revoked. If further trouble arises and divorce is pronounced a second time, the same procedure is followed. Only if the matter reaches a third divorce does it become irrevocable. The wife is then to leave the house and is free after three monthly cycles to marry another man if she wishes. The first husband is not then permitted to remarry her unless she has in the meantime married another man and been divorced in usual legal manner.
This procedure is the normal one followed if the husband is the one seeking divorce or if the divorce is by mutual consent. If the wife seeks divorce against the wishes of the husband she may take her case to the court and obtain divorce.
An instance was reported at the time of the Prophet when a woman came to him saying that although her husband was a good man and she had no complaint against his treatment, she disliked him greatly and could not live with him. The Prophet directed that she should return to the husband a garden which he had given to her as her dowry, as the condition of her divorce. This procedure is sanctioned in the Qur'an where Allah says:
"And if you fear that they may not be able to keep the limits of Allah, then there is no sin for either of them, if the woman redeems herself with that" (2:229).
One may observe that modern developments in marriage law in England and other Western countries are tending towards the Islamic pattern, albeit unconsciously, in many ways, stressing guidance and counselling before divorce, privacy of divorce proceedings and speeding of the process of divorce once it has been established that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.
The law of Islam does not therefore compel unhappy couples to stay together, but its procedures help them to find a basis on which they can be reconciled with each other. If reconciliation is impossible the law does not impose any unnecessary delay or obstacle in the way of either partner's remarriage.
Right to Inheritance
Another right of the Muslim woman which is a part of Islamic law is the right to inherit property. The method of division of inheritance is clearly laid down in the Qur'an and the general rule is that man gets double. This may if taken in isolation from other legislation appear to be unfair; however, it must be remembered that in accordance with the verse of the Qur'an quoted earlier, men are charged with the maintenance of all the women and children in their family, and therefore their necessary obligations of expenditure are far higher than those of women. The half-share that a woman inherits may therefore be considered a generous one since it is for herself alone. Any such money or property which a woman owns or any business which she runs is entirely her own and her husband has no right to any of it.