Women, Polygamy and Islam

It has been considered for years that Islam does not give equal rights to men and women, and consider women only subject of comfort for males. This opinion has been delivered time and time again by renowned women activists but their basis of arguments being only the alleged facts. Their main argument is against the permission given towards polygamy in Islam. But many scholars who have gone through the pain in studying what Islam actually says have different opinion. They agree, in general, that Islam's approach to polygamy is most balanced and rational and is based on the moral, psychological and physiological demands of men and women (The Independent 13).

It should be remembered that taking more than one wife is only permissible, not ordained by the Quran - as some 'progressive' activist would like to believe. The Quranic verse that allows polygamy should be read in the context it was revealed. The Verse says, "And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two, three and four, but if you fear that you may not do justice to them, then (marry) only one" (4: 3). This verse was revealed after the battle of Uhud. In that battle, many Muslim men died and as such a great social problem for the protection of widows and orphans arose, necessitating an institutionalized polygamy for a convenient solution of the problem.

Some of the eminent Western scholars who actually studied Islam, quite blatantly criticized the Western and other self proclaimed writers for venting their opinion as facts. In her book The Life and Teachings of Muhammed, Dr. Annie Besant, the renowned English leader of Theosophical Movement, says: " There is pretended monogamy in the West, but in reality, there is polygamy without responsibility; the mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her ... the first lover has no responsibility for her future, and she is a hundred times worst off then the sheltered wife in a polygamous home. "When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman to live in polygamy, united to one man, only with a legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced and then cast out into the streets perhaps with illegitimate child outside the rule of law, uncared, unsheltered, to become victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood despised by all. "You can find others," continues Annie Besant, "stating that religion Islam is evil because it sanctions a limited polygamy. But you do not hear as a rule the criticism ... that monogamy with a blended mass of prostitution was a hypocrisy and more degrading than a limited polygamy. "... it must be remembered that the law of Islam in relation to women was until lately, when parts of it was imitated initiated in England, the most just law, as far as women are concerned, to be found in the world. Dealing with property, ...rights of succession,... cases of divorce, it was far beyond the law of the West, in the respect which was paid to the rights of women. Those things are forgotten while people are hypnotized by the words monogamy and polygamy and do not look at what lies behind it in the West - the frightful degradation of women..."

Divorce in Islam

The next point of confrontation regarding women is the issue of divorce. It is a well accepted thought that Islam allows the husband to get rid of his wife on his free will, any time he likes by uttering a particular word three times repeatedly. This idea is totally baseless and has got nothing to do with Islam is quite clear when one takes the pain of studying it. first of all, the marriage in Islam is a social contract, and it can be dissolved if it proves, in any way, injurious or incompatible to the wife or to the husband. The wife has been given as much right to obtain the divorce as the husband. But the process of divorce has been set with a time limit of three months, so that a major decision like this is not taken in a moment of anger, and then both of them reproaches it after their anger vents out. This has been clearly instructed in the Holy Quran, but made unnecessarily confused by some elite class to suite their own purpose. On the Timing of divorce: " O Prophet! if ye do divorce woman, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: And fear Allah, your Lord: And turn them not out of your houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of open lewdness " (LXV: 1). On waiting periods for divorced women: " Divorced woman must wait three monthly courses. And it is not lawful for them to hide what Allah has created in their wombs, if they sincerely believe in Allah and the last day..." (2:228) Thus a clear three months period is mandatory before the final pronouncement is to be given. Each pronouncement of Talaq has to be made with a month's increment between it, so that their is chance that the couple repents and decide to continue their life together. After all, the prophet's saying goes 'Divorce is most disliked by Allah among all permissible things.' As women have got full rights to decide on to their separations, they also have full rights to chose partners in marriage, which is against what the 'learned' class would like to believe. No marriage in Islam is valid unless the bride and the bride-groom give their verbal consents regarding their marriage.

Status of Women in Islam

The status given to the women by Islam is another point of conflict as most of the "literate lots" would very much like to believe that women in Islam are still unliberated. However, it would be pointless to defend Islam by saying that Islam did give Women full equality in all respect to men (as some scholars defending Islam tried to do), as in reality, Islam does recognize the fact that women and men have their differences on the basis of their physical and physiological aspects, which is clearly stated in the Holy Quran in the following verses: "... Wives have the same rights as the husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. Ofcourse, men are a degree above them in status, and above all is Allah, the All-Mighty, the All-Wise" (2: 228). "Men are in charge of women because Allah has made the one superior to the other and because men spend their wealth on women" (4: 34).

Thus, in Islam, men and women have absolute equality in stature, but with a complete difference in labor. Being subjected to the responsibility of taking care of the house-holds, is considered somewhat degrading nowadays, forwarding the possible idea that Islam has kept women away from nation building. But if we are to consider Napoleon's saying that 'Give me a good mother; I will give you a good nation', then we can see that in reality nation building starts at home, and failure to learn correct guidance at home would lead the generations to degrade, without even being concerned over it. In fact the Islamic concept of household is that it is the smallest unit in the greater organization of the Nation as a whole. The home is a little kingdom where authority is exercised by both husband and wife.

Islam, Culture and Women

by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

How can anyone justify Islam's treatment of women, when it imprisons Afghans under blue shuttlecock burqas and makes Pakistani girls marry strangers against their will?

How can you respect a religion that forces women into polygamous marriages, mutilates their genitals, forbids them to drive cars and subjects them to the humiliation of "instant" divorce? In fact, none of these practices are Islamic at all.

Anyone wishing to understand Islam must first separate the religion from the cultural norms and style of a society. Female genital mutilation is still practised in certain pockets of Africa and Egypt, but viewed as an inconceivable horror by the vast majority of Muslims. Forced marriages may still take place in certain Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi communities, but would be anathema to Muslim women from other backgrounds.

Indeed, Islam insists on the free consent of both bride and groom, so such marriages could even be deemed illegal under religious law.

A woman forbidden from driving a car in Riyadh will cheerfully take the wheel when abroad, confident that her country's bizarre law has nothing to do with Islam. Afghan women educated before the Taliban rule know that banning girls from school is forbidden in Islam, which encourages all Muslims to seek knowledge from cradle to grave, from every source possible.

The Koran is addressed to all Muslims, and for the most part it does not differentiate between male and female. Man and woman, it says, "were created of a single soul," and are moral equals in the sight of God. Women have the right to divorce, to inherit property, to conduct business and to have access to knowledge.

Since women are under all the same obligations and rules of conduct as the men, differences emerge most strongly when it comes to pregnancy, child-bearing and rearing, menstruation and, to a certain extent, clothing.

Some of the commands are alien to Western tradition. Requirements of ritual purity may seem to restrict a woman's access to religious life, but are viewed as concessions. During menstruation or postpartum bleeding, she may not pray the ritual salah or touch the Koran and she does not have to fast; nor does she need to fast while pregnant or nursing.

The veiling of Muslim women is a more complex issue. Certainly, the Koran requires them to behave and dress modestly - but these strictures apply equally to men. Only one verse refers to the veiling of women, stating that the Prophet's wives should be behind a hijab when his male guests converse with them.

Some modernists, however, claim that this does not apply to women in general, and that the language used does not carry the textual stipulation that makes a verse obligatory. In practice, most modern Muslim women appreciate attractive and graceful clothes, but avoid dressing provocatively.

What about polygamy, which the Koran endorses up to the limit of four wives per man? The Prophet, of course, lived at a time when continual warfare produced large numbers of widows, who were left with little or no provision for themselves and their children.

In these circumstances, polygamy was encouraged as an act of charity. Needless to say, the widows were not necessarily sexy young women, but usually mothers of up to six children, who came as part of the deal.

Polygamy is no longer common, for various good reasons. The Koran states that wives need to be treated fairly and equally - a difficult requirement even for a rich man. Moreover, if a husband wishes to take a second wife, he should not do so if the marriage will be to the detriment of the first.

Sexual intimacy outside marriage is forbidden in Islam, including sex before marriage, adultery or homosexual relationships. However, within marriage, sexual intimacy should be raised from the animal level to sadaqah (a form of worship) so that each considers the happiness and satisfaction of the other, rather than mere self-gratification.

Contrary to Christianity, Islam does not regard marriages as "made in heaven" or "till death do us part". They are contracts, with conditions. If either side breaks the conditions, divorce is not only allowed, but usually expected. Nevertheless, a hadith makes it clear that: "Of all the things God has allowed, divorce is the most disliked."

A Muslim has a genuine reason for divorce only if a spouse's behaviour goes against the sunnah of Islam - in other words, if he or she has become cruel, vindictive, abusive, unfaithful, neglectful, selfish, sexually abusive, tyrannical, perverted - and so on.

In good Islamic practice, before divorce can be contemplated, all possible efforts should be made to solve a couple's problems. After an intention to divorce is announced, there is a three-month period during which more attempts are made at reconciliation.

If, by the end of each month, the couple have resumed sexual intimacy, the divorce should not proceed. The three-month rule ensures that a woman cannot remarry until three menstrual cycles have passed - so, if she happens to be pregnant, the child will be supported and paternity will not be in dispute.

When Muslims die, strict laws govern the shares of property and money they may leave to others; daughters usually inherit less than sons, but this is because the men in a family are supposed to provide for the entire household.

Any money or property owned by women is theirs to keep, and they are not obliged to share it. Similarly, in marriage, a woman's salary is hers and cannot be appropriated by her husband unless she consents.

A good Muslim woman, for her part, should always be trustworthy and kind. She should strive to be cheerful and encouraging towards her husband and family, and keep their home free from anything harmful (haram covers all aspects of harm, including bad behaviour, abuse and forbidden foods).

Regardless of her skills or intelligence, she is expected to accept her man as the head of her household - she must, therefore, take care to marry a man she can respect, and whose wishes she can carry out with a clear conscience. However, when a man expects his wife to do anything contrary to the will of God - in other words, any nasty, selfish, dishonest or cruel action - she has the right to refuse him.

Her husband is not her master; a Muslim woman has only one Master, and that is God. If her husband does not represent God's will in the home, the marriage contract is broken.

What should one make of the verse in the Koran that allows a man to punish his wife physically? There are important provisos: he may do so only if her ill-will is wrecking the marriage - but then only after he has exhausted all attempts at verbal communication and tried sleeping in a separate bed.

However, the Prophet never hit a woman, child or old person, and was emphatic that those who did could hardly regard themselves as the best of Muslims. Moreover, he also stated that a man should never hit "one of God's handmaidens". Nor, it must be said, should wives beat their husbands or become inveterate nags.

Finally, there is the issue of giving witness. Although the Koran says nothing explicit, other Islamic sources suggest that a woman's testimony in court is worth only half of that of a man. This ruling, however, should be applied only in circumstances where a woman is uneducated and has led a very restricted life: a woman equally qualified to a man will carry the same weight as a witness.

So, does Islam oppress women?

While the spirit of Islam is clearly patriarchal, it regards men and women as moral equals. Moreover, although a man is technically the head of the household, Islam encourages matriarchy in the home.

Women may not be equal in the manner defined by Western feminists, but their core differences from men are acknowledged, and they have rights of their own that do not apply to men

Khadijah bint Khuwailid: The First Lady of Islam

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

KHADIJAH (radiallahu ‘anhaa)

She was Khadijah bint Khuwailid ibn Asad ibn 'Abd al-'Uzza ibn Qusay ibn Kilab (from one of the notable clans of the Quraish). Her mother was Fatima bint Za'ida who was descended from another of the clans of the Quraish:The genealogists of the Arabs describe the Prophet as Muhammad ibn'Abd Allah ibn 'Abd al-Muttalib ibn Hashim ibn 'Abd Manaf ibn Qusay ibn Kilab. He was therefore one of her cousins, or more precisely, one of her nephews, through a mutual great-grandfather Qusay ibn Kilab.

Since the Prophet belonged to the younger generation and lived in a quarter of Makkah far removed from hers, she was unacquainted with this young man, who had only in the recent past started his career as a trader and commission agent. Khadijah was herself a lady of dignity and opulence.

From two of her husbands she had inherited much wealth and many commercial banking houses. She sometimes lent money to reliable Quraish merchants on a profit-sharing basis. Sometimes she invested the capital of her creditors in trade caravans. In fact, Khadijah had heard of the honesty, trustworthiness, high moral character and clean habits of Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him). She also realized something of his spiritual capacities, and, as we may unmistakably say, these attracted her.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) was popularly known as al-Amin (the Trust-worthy), and also by another fitting title al-Sadiq (the Truthful). She belonged to a respectable upper middle-class family of Makkah, and that in the past she had been married to two men. Khadijah was a lady of middle age, just forty. She had never taken the risk of entrusting her fleet of camels to someone that might disappear with it into the deserts of Syria and never be heard of any more.

To look after domestic affairs, she kept a slave-girl; and a slave called Maysara was also in her service. She was a true believer and steadfast. She was devout. She performed all the rituals of Islam. She observed the stipulated Salat with Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him). She was always the first to learn the Qur'an and Commandments of Allah. She fasted as Muhammad did. She gave alms. She gave in the cause of Allah all the wealth she had. On no occasion did she think of retaining the slightest bit of wealth for herself. She had, in fact, sacrificed her ease and comfort for the sake of Allah and His Messenger.

Khadijah was a typical Makkan lady of the Quraish, fair and modest in her general demeanour and meticulously submissive and obedient to her husband. She was a devoted wife. She loved Muhammad. She had a great attachment to him. She admired his genuinely transcendental qualities. She revered him for his superb and sublime thoughts. She adored him for having been blessed with divine achievements. With full earnestness, she recognised the awe-inspire. atmosphere that hallowed his personality. She acted accordingly. She looked after him. She took care of him. She helped him. She cooperated with him. She made all types of sacrifices for him. Yet she was able to console and comfort him in distress in his early days of prophethood. KhadIjah, the First of the Believers When the Prophet came home after receiving the revelation and told her about the story, she calmed him, and then she took her overgarment and set forth to her cousin Waraqa ibn Nawfal. There she related to him all that her husband Muhammad had told her of what he had seen and heard. "Quddus, quddus (grand, grand!)-, exclaimed Waraqa, "O Khadijah, it is a very good news! Certainly by Him in Whose Hand is Waraqa's soul, if what you have related to me is true, O Khadijah, there has, after all, come unto him the Great Namus (Jibril or Gabriel) who came to Moses. And certainly he is the Prophet of this people. Congratulate him. Let him now be steadfast".

With this message, Khadijah hurried back home and told her husband what Waraqa had said. This calmed his fears somewhat. Khadijah was now a convinced believer. She was a true believer. She was a devoted believer. She was indeed the first believer.

Most of the biographers of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) dismiss the early period of the "Call" in a few pages. In fact, this period is intimately associated with the sagacity of Khadijah and her faith in Allah and His Messenger and also with the unremitting encouragement that she gave to Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him). The history of the early Revelations is rich in information about the mutual relationship between Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) and his first wife, Khadijah. By simply putting together scraps of source material, as they occur in the various exegetical works (i.e., Tafsir literature) and the compilations of traditions, we can easily evolve an image of the personality of Khadijah. Khadijah falls ill and dies The period of boycott, during which the Hashmites (Bani Hashim) remained almost shut away from the outer world, was a period of great ordeal. The conditions to which they had been subjected told upon the general health of the women and children. Khadijah who had already been worn down by the hardships in Shi'b Abi Talib, to which she had never been used, fell ill. It was some time in December, 619 A.D. that she died after a brief illness of three days.

HER VIRTUES:

This was Khadijah, whom Muhammad always remembered with feelings of love and affection, even when he was later the Sole ruler of Arabia and had many beautiful wives around him at Medinah. Abu Hurairah reported that Gabriel came to the Prophet and said, "Allah's Messenger, here is Khadijah who has come bringing a vessel containing food. When she comes, give her a greeting from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news that in Paradise she will have a house of brilliant pearls". (Bukhari and Muslim).

The intensity of the Prophet’s love and regard for Khadijah is shown by the following incident. A'isha reported that once she hurt his feelings on this issue and he replied, "Allah has blessed me with her love."

On another occasion A'isha asked him if she had been the only woman worthy of his love, and Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) replied in an honest burst of tenderness." She believed in me when nobody else did, she embraced Islam when people disbelieved me and she helped me and comforted me when there was none to lend me a helping hand." This incident is described by Carlyle in these words: "He never forget this good Khadijah. Long afterwards, A'isha, his young and favorite wife, a woman who indeed distinguished herself among the Muslims by all manner of qualities through her whole life; this young and brilliant A'isha was, one day, questioning him. Now am I not better than Khadijah? She was a widow; old, and had lost her looks; you love me better than you did her? 'No, by God!' answered Muhammad, she believed in me when none else would believe. In the whole world I had but one friend, and she was that. "2 He adds, "He seems to have lived in a most affectionate, peaceable, wholesome way with this wedded benefaction, loving her truly, and her alone. "2 There are many incidents in the books of hadith and tarikh which throw some light on the depth of the feeling of natural love and affection between Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) and Khadijah.

It is narrated by A'isha that the sister of Khadijah, Halah bint Khuwailid, asked for permission to see the Prophet. (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him). He remembered the act of permission of Khadijah for he recognised her voice which resembled that of Khadijah. He was pleased and said that was Halah bint Khuwailid. A'isha said that, hearing that, she felt envious and remarked," Do you mean one of the women of the Quraish, whose legs were lean and who died long ago? Allah has given you a better companion instead." (Muslim). She also reported that when the Quraish of Makkah paid compensation to free their captives from the battle of Badr, the Prophet's daughter Zainab also made arrangements to free her husband, Abu Al-As. She sent some cash which also contained a necklace given to her by her mother Khadijah in her wedding gifts. Seeing this necklace of Khadijah, the prophet was deeply moved and asked his companions, "If you consider it proper, you may release her husband for her sake and also return her necklace. They all accepted this with pleasure and released Abu Al-A’as and also returned the necklace to Zainab.

Sahabiyat Lady Khadijah

The first woman to follow the religion of Islam was Khadijah ul-Kubra’. Every Muslim knows who she was, and what a role-model she was and continues to be. We also know that she was according to the Prophet (saw), one of the four greatest women from among the whole earth. Khadijah was born in the year 555 C.E. (christian era). Her parents were Khuwailid and Fatimah bint Zaidah. By the time she reached the age of forty she had attained quite a reputation for herself. She was known as a wealthy, noble, fine-natured businesswoman. Khadijah heard about Mohammed’s (SAW) reputation for being an honest and upright young man. She sent him a proposal to ask him to handle some of her business affair. On the return from one trip to Syria, he reported a profit that doubled that which anyone else had done for her. Needless to say, that impressed her greatly! Khadijah’s satisfaction with her new employee was soon to turn into love. Despite their age difference of 15 years, she desired to marry him. She confided this desire to he friend, Nufaysah, who in turn approached Mohammed (SAW). This confused him. How could such a noble woman, who had turned down the marriage proposals of the noblest and wealthiest Quraysh men, desire to marry him?! Mohammed’s uncle Abu Talib and Khadijah’s uncle ‘Umar ibn Asad sat down to arrange the completion of the marriage. Little did any of them know just what the future had in store for this new couple!

Allah bestored upon them six children. They were given two boys, Qasim and ‘Abdullah, but neither survived infancy. They were also given four daughters, Zainab, Ruqaiyyah, Umm Kulthum, and Fatimah. Mohammed would often go to Mount Hira for meditation. On returning one day, Khadijah could see he was quite shaken and upset. She inquired about this and he told her what had happened. She found out that day had been unlike any other in that, day, he had been given revelations from God! He had thought that he was possessed and was going mad. Khadijah tried to console her terrified husband by saying: “Rejoice, O son of my uncle, and be of good heart. Surely by Him in whose hand is my soul, I have hope that you will be the prophet of this people. You have never done any wrong to anyone. You are kind to others and you help the poor. So Allah will not let you down.” He then asked for a blanket and she quickly fulfilled his request. Shortly thereafter, he fell asleep. When Mohammed woke, Khadijah took him to her cousin, Waraqah bin Nawfal. He was Christian and quite knowledgeable of the scriptures of the Torah and Bible. He confirmed Mohammed’s Prophethood and said: “This is the same one who keeps the secrets (angel Jibrail) whom Allah had sent to Moses. I wish I were young and could live up to the time when your people would turn you out.”

Just a few months later, Jibrail came again and ordered him to start warning the people. Khadijah supported him in this by financially supporting the family and his teaching. She was also content to raise the children and handle the family affairs so that he could preach. During the next 10 years, she proved herself to be a loving wife. She supported him when nobody else would. She consoled him when rough times hit them. she comforted and encouraged him when the Quraish did all they could to stop him from preaching. She remained the only wife of Mohammed until her death at the age of 65. She died on Ramadaan 620 C.E. in the 10th year of Prophethood. Long after her death, Mohammed remembered and honored her often.
There is a lesson in Khadijah’s life: She accepted and started working for the religion of Islam after the first revelation. This not only made her the first Muslim but also a role-model for women today. She led the example of a good, loving wife. She also showed us how to forget the desires of this life and work only for the good of Islam. Khadijah truly was a Righteous Woman!!

Employment Concerns for Working Muslim Women

Before a Muslim woman seeks employment, she must carefully weigh all of her options and prepare herself for inevitable challenges.

Every day, many Muslim women cope with the challenge of working in a non-Muslim environment: a male employee offers his hand during introductions, other employees begin to discuss private aspects of their lives at lunch, an invitation is sent to all employees for a get-together at the local bar, someone makes a joke about hijab or salah. These are just a few of the many possible situations that a woman may face as she struggles to maintain not only her job, but her Muslim identity as well. In addition, she feels the stress of trying to balance the demands of her job with those of her home and children. What is the Islamic perspective in women and work? What guidelines should be followed if a woman works? What are some strategies that may be effective in helping her to maintain Islamic values and behavior?

Setting Priorities:

The most important role for a woman is motherhood. This special role that Allah has created for her, affords her honor and respect in Islam. Where does she fulfil this role? Naturally, in her home. Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, says: “And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like those in the times of ignorance and offer prayers perfectly and give zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger.” [33:33] This does not mean that a woman is a prisoner in her home, but only that she should have a valid reason (such as for basic needs, education, etc) to go out, to avoid any fitnah (tribulation, trial) that may result from mixing between men and women.

A woman should not work in a non-Muslim environment unless there is some compelling reason for her to do so. Allah has not prohibited women from working, but He has provided numerous protections for women, that are primarily concerned with where, how, and with whom she associates. She should seriously consider the costs and benefits for herself, and the impact on her ability to fulfill her primary responsibilities, before taking on a job. There are many situations that may make it necessary for a woman to work, such as to assist with the financial needs of the family or to fulfill the needs of the society (doctors, midwives, teachers).

There are several obvious guidelines that should be followed if a woman does decide to work. First, she must obtain consent from her husband, who may offer a broader perspective on how her work may influence the family and its functioning. Secondly, a woman must ensure that her home and children are properly cared for. Her husband may be of assistance in this area, or outside help may be employed. Thirdly, care must be taken to choose employment that is appropriate and fits with her skills. Obviously, any work that deals with haram activities, services, or products would not be allowed but there is a world of possibilities available.

There is an immense and growing need for Muslim women in various medical fields, in education, in helping professions such as social work, counseling, psychology, psychiatry, and childcare. With the growth of technology and communications capabilities, there are unlimited opportunities for women to do some type of work or business from home (such as secretarial and typing; writing, editing, publishing; computer work, etc.) This would be an ideal situation that would eliminate many of the concerns that may arise for working women.

Maintaining an Islamic Foundation:

This common concern for women who work outside the home must be taken very seriously. Women need to be careful that the job they choose does not lead them to transgress the limits of Islam.

Fedwa is a successful computer programmer at a major University who understands the risks of working in a non-Muslim environment. She know that if she is not cautious, others may begin to negatively influence her. When she first began working, she would attend luncheons with other employees, but soon discovered that much of the time was spent on idle talk and conversation about haram activities (e.g. boyfriends, drinking). She decided that the best precaution for her would be to avoid these luncheons completely, so that a bond would not be established between herself and her co-workers. This type of influence could be so subtle, that a sister may not even be aware that she has fallen into the trap. Listening to inappropriate conversations on a regular basis may lead a sister to become desensitized and thereby forgetful about appropriate etiquette.

Another sister, Layla, echoed the same concerns. Layla is a Dental Claims Clerk at a major HMO who also decided to stop sitting with her co-workers during lunch. She and three other Muslim sisters at the same company have devised a creative way to preserve their identity while socializing at the same time. Each Friday, the sisters pray Dhuhr together in a conference room, followed by lunch. During lunch, they study about Islam in a private halaqa. Layala works with men, but does not find it difficult. Her approach is to keep her intention and interactions strictly business, while being considerate and respectful. People are likely to respect this in turn. Handshaking is often a concern, but an explanation of religious prohibitions often helps to ease the interaction. Invitations to parties where alcohol is served can be handled in a similar manner.

Layla also discussed her struggle with wearing hijab. When she first became Muslim, she considered not wearing hijab to job interviews for fear that potential employers would react negatively, preventing her from being considered. This rationale carries a strong message. After more consideration, she realized that Allah would be the only One who could assist her in finding a job. And, if she did not wear it, she would not receive Allah’s help. She wore the hijab and found a job. She felt that the hijab was a barrier in only one of her interviews. Since that time, Allah has strengthened her eman. Her advice to other Muslim sisters is to be open and honest about religious beliefs and practices, and to incorporate this into conversations.

This small opportunity to educate others about Islam breaks down stereotypes and prejudice that may be present. She also recommends offering some type of training for employees about Islamic beliefs and practices or putting up displays in companies when possible. Layla conducts a diversity training session with new employees and incorporates examples about Islam and her experiences in the presentation. Often this leads to further questions and she always-welcome co-workers to ask questions as they arise. She feels that people admire and respect a person more, if they have some aspect of spirituality in their lives.

Final Advice:

The most important advice for sisters to remember is that no matter where we are, or what we are doing, we should be persistent in fulfilling Allah’s commands, be ever mindful of Him, and rely solely upon His grace and assistance. If we are in a job where we feel that our values are being compromised, the best option may be to leave. Allah should always be our first priority, not money, personal satisfaction, or desire for prestige or power. If things seem too overwhelming or difficult, we should always turn to Allah and ask for his help and guidance.

The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said: “Allah the Almighty says: ‘I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length; and if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.” (Bukhari).

Let us rely upon Allah in all of our matters, whether personal, social, or professional.

By: Dr. Aisha Hamdan

[From: Al-Jumuah – Vol. 12 , Iss: 11]<>
Saturday : 24/08/2002