Her Rights

The status of women in Islam is often a topic of debate. It is not a new issue. In the beginning, women’s rights in Islam were seen as the most civilized ever seen. Later, however, Muslims became ignorant due to distortion and lack of understanding of the religion.

Allah SWT Says in the Noble Quran:-
“The believers, men and women, are protectors, one of another: they enjoin what is just and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His Mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.” [At-Tawbah: 71]

This verse shows that both men and women are protectors of each other and have the same responsibilities towards Allah SWT.

In Islam, marriage is a lawful union between a man and a woman to foster a state of tranquility, love and compassion. The Quran clearly indicates that marriage is sharing between the two halves and its objective includes perpetuating human life and based on love and mercy.

The Quran States:-
"And among His signs is this: That He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest, peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect." [Ar-Rum: 21]

However, a happy marriage that last a lifetime is not always the case. Divorce, although it is discourage, occurs in some marriages when the couple fail to coordinate their quest. If the marriage can no longer be saved, Islam calls for men to seek a gracious end for it.

The Quran Says:-
"When you divorce women, and they reach their prescribed term, then retain them in kindness and retain them not for injury so that you transgress (the limits)." [Al-Baqarah: 231]

It is important for us to understand that women are not to be blamed for the fall of man. From the spiritual standpoint, it is important to remember that the Noble Quran never blamed Hawaa for the first mistake of eating fruit from the forbidden tree. What we know is that it speaks about both of them doing this, both of them are told that both of them disobeyed, both of them discovered the consequences of their disobedience, both of them seek repentance and both of them are forgiven. Hence, women should also not be looked down upon or be blamed when a divorce occurs.

We should understand that Islam has given certain rights to women, both before and after marriage and this includes:-

• The bride is entitled to a marital gift (mahr) from the husband. This mahr is the exclusive right of the woman.
• A woman retains whatever property she owns prior to marriage.
• If the woman has her own career or made her own investments, she does not have to spend the income on the household as it is entirely hers. However, she has to seek her husband’s permission to work.
• She must recognize her husband’s duty for running the affairs of the family and obey his judgment provided he does not go beyond the limits of Islam.
• The full maintenance and support of a married woman is the responsibility of her husband regardless of whether she is richer or poorer than he is. However, any difficulties should be given a hand as Allah SWT Says,

"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them as regards to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.)". [Al-Baqarah: 228]

• In a divorce, there are certain guarantees during the waiting period and beyond for the woman’s support. This includes child support, which is the responsibility of their father.
It is clear now that women’s rights are protected by Islam. Any perceptions that bear to the thinking that women are oppressed are merely misconceptions.

Hate No More

Islam views marriage as a sacred bond that brings together a man and a woman. It is a religious duty and is considered a moral safeguard as well as social necessity. Marriage is a beautiful relationship and should not be broken except for compelling reasons.
Divorce is not encouraged and should be treated as the last unwelcome resort after all possible means to sustain the marriage fail. This includes peaceful discussion between the couple and seeking a third party to help them with their problem. The Allah SWT hates a divorce without just reason. The Prophet SAW said:
"Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah." [Abu Dawood]
However, if differences between a husband and a wife are still irreconcilable despite actions taken to save it, divorce is permitted and should be performed in a decent manner.
Allah SWT Says,
"If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best." [An-Nisaa'': 128]
When a divorce occurs, the true cost of it effects on the family most. Although it is a painful experience, not only for the couple themselves, but also for their children and family members, it is best that each party learn their rights and obligations. You need to know how you can protect yourself when dealing with the situation.
OBLIGATIONS
When children are involved, both parents are responsible towards their well-being. This includes providing child support and visitation rights. If your divorce agreement states you to provide child support, you are obligated to pay it and trust that your ex-spouse uses the money for the benefit of your children. On the other hand, if you are given the custody for the children, you must not withhold visitation rights even if your ex-spouse fails to provide child support. Your children should not be the victims and they have the rights to the care and love from both parents.
PROPERTY / ASSETS
A number of people going through the divorce process do not get what they deserve in terms of properties / assets as they focus more on getting the procedure done and over with, or they wish for a chance to reconcile.
Each party has their own rights. If you have gained custody of the children, the division of properties and assets are important as it reflects the future of your children. It is advisable that a financial planner be consulted to assess the real value of your assets. It is best that both parties come to an agreement when it comes to properties and assets, but this is not often the case.
You may consider consulting an attorney. However, you must do your homework first. List down all your marital assets and get appraisals where necessary. Calculate how much you need to cover your children’s food, clothes, school supplies and other expenses. Find out how much your spouse earns including bonuses and stock options.
A wife should also keep in mind what she owns before marriage is entirely her right and her husband has no right to any of it both during marriage and after divorce.
RIGHTS
When it comes to financial matters, it is important that the wife also educate herself, as usually she would leave it to her husband to handle. She must understand their tax returns, investments and stay informed on all their debts and family income.
When a divorce is in progress, you must cancel any joint bank accounts and open individual accounts. Cancel all credit cards and get new ones under your own name. Notify all creditors on you change in marital status.
All assets must be legally divided when your divorce has been finalized including changing the names on house deeds, car titles, stocks and bonds. It is important that you change the beneficiaries on life insurance policies, saving accounts etc. You must remember that you need to update your will immediately.
Divorce can been seen as more merciful rather than forcing couples to live together despite their will. It can be a devastating experience for one or both parties, but knowing your rights can help reduce the pain. It is definitely a bitter pill to swallow and every couple must look for ways to avoid this abominable life.