Based on the experience of the past years, now it is time to halt the ever-mounting tide of divorces among Muslims. It is not unusual today to find Muslim women who by the time they are 30-35 years old, have been married three or four times and their children keeps suffering from the trauma of fatherless and broken homes.
Question may arise here? Why, every year, the number of Muslim couples registered for divorce keeps growing? Is there nothing that can be done to avoid this to ever be happened again in the future?
As a wise creation that been created by Allah and as we had been given the specialty from other creatures, ‘aql that we possessed, of course there is the solution to this problem. It can be done into three phases, before marriage, during the marriage and if it happened, after the end of a marriage, how to fix it back.
The process of choosing a partner for a companion in this life should not be taken lightly by all Muslims. This is because it is concerns about the future of both side and the future of the generation that comes after them. Here some essentials points that should be observed by all before take a decision to start a life with someone, in order to make it bless full and long lasting.
First, always ask help and guidance from Allah, Most High as only Him know what is the best for His slaves. Consult your heart and always listen to your inner voice. It is likely to be more correct that your mind which often plays tricks and can rationalize almost anything.
Next, find out the reason why this person wants to marry you? Is it for love or money? Then, try to get to know your partner but always remember that it should within the limits permissible in Islam, before deciding on marriage. Try to understand his/her nature, what makes him/her tick, his/her temperament etc.
Talk to several people who know him/her, not just one, but have someone that you can trust to listen. Find out about his family and try to understand each other expectations. The most important thing that should be taken into account is find out the degree of his understanding about Islam and whether it is compatible with your own.
So many marriages have broken because the partners are in such haste that they don’t take time such vital checks and rush into things. Ask yourself, Do I want to marry this man/woman? If you are not sure, think it again. Last, never allow yourself to be pressured into a marriage and should be never agreed to engage in a contract marriage because it is sinful.
If these guidelines are followed, Insyaallah the chances of making mistakes which may lead to the broken marriage can be minimized. Choosing a marriage partner is a most serious matter, perhaps the most important decision you will ever make in your life since your partner can cause you either to be successful of to fail miserably.
How to deal with problems that aroused after marriage? The most important skill needed here is communication skill and the spirit of tolerance. If any conflicts occur, couples should handle it wisely and patiently, do not let the anger controlling you and your partner. Discover what the disagreement is about and try to understand and fix it out. In any relationships, one should not always give or take but one should do both, give and take.
A broken marriage cannot be repaired by magic without first investing some time and effort to find out what it will take. Then you have to really want to do it. To make it successful, both side, husband and wife should agreed to fix it back and try harder to achieve it.
Marriage is a sacred contract and it was never meant to be taken lightly. Keep your eyes open and take your time. Since marriage is for life, for eternity, hurrying into it for any reason whatsoever is the act of a foolish or careless person who has only himself or herself to blame if things go wrong. May God guide us always?
